sadness in birthdays and happiness in memory
by ValkyrieAce
Summary: Tony's birthday comes around and he misses Peter terribly. What more can I say? Please read and review!


_This is a birthday fic for my lovely friend, Ari. I wanted to upload this as soon as possible, so… no beta. I really hope you still enjoy it though!_

_Please read and review!_

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**sadness in birthdays and happiness in memory** by ValkyrieAce

Tony was surprised. Well, it bordered more on speechless, but he would never admit to a teenager rendering him to that state out loud. Not ever.

The scene before him was captivating in its chaos. Balloons of red and gold were gathered together with ribbons, and boxes wrapped in festive paper littered the lab desk. DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers were decked out in various Christmastime garlands—looking completely out of place in the Spring season—and they beeped at him joyously.

Tony looked around in awe, despite his confusion; whoever decorated the lab had gone all out. There were no two ways about it. Even the desks were bordered by some sparkly red tinsel. He wondered why the lab was decorated today of all days, and as he stepped into the lab carefully, he was no closer to realizing it when—

"Happy birthday, Mr. Stark!"

_No way._

Tony stopped, feeling faint. He could hear the irregular drumming sound of his heart echo loudly in his ears, he was sure his brain had blue-screened, and he was acutely aware—with every bone in his body—that Peter Parker was standing in this lab with him.

His intern, no, _his kid_, was breathing in the same air as he was.

_There was no way._

Still, when Peter walked into his vision, he couldn't help but hope it was all real. He would even say he prayed, if it counted for some deity who was listening. And when Peter placed his hands on his shoulder—perfectly normal, clean hands, rather than the dust that fluttered through Titan—he couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed by the gasp that broke free from his throat.

Tony lifted a shaky hand to Peter's hair, feeling the silky softness of the curls underneath the pads of his fingertips, and stifled a sob. Peter was _real_ and in front of him, looking over him worriedly. Tony could see Peter's lips moving, but he couldn't hear a thing of what was being said.

_Peter was alive._

Peter, who was one of the smartest and purest kids he had ever had to work with. The child who had experienced the pressures of his past tragedies and overcame it with an undeniably golden heart. The teenager who had reinforced Tony's dedication to his responsibilities, who had taught him how to be a true hero as much as Tony had taught Peter to be confident about his self-worth.

And he was standing right in front of him. His skin was tinged with a healthy golden glow, and his brown eyes sparkled with joy and pride. Peter was only half a head shorter than him now, but he was starting to grow a faint line of stubble, and Tony wasn't sure why the _stubble_ did him in, but his eyes misted over at the realization of being able to see the teenager grow into the kind of adult he wanted to be.

His body reacted before he could register what was happening, pulling Peter into a crushing hug. He felt Peter return his hug gently, patting Tony's back awkwardly at first, then clutching onto his grease stained AC/DC shirt tightly. He knew Peter had been trying to talk to him the entire time, and he did his best to focus on the words coming out of Peter's mouth than the idea that he might still not be real.

"I'm sorry," Peter uttered in a whisper. "Did I do something? Whatever I did wrong, I take it back. I'll fix it and I'll do better than you would, just like you tau—"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Tony said, a wet chuckle escaping him at Peter's worried rant. "Why do you even think that?"

Peter pulled away to give him a pointed look, noticing that a patch of Peter's hair glistened wetly under the lab's white lights. As he pressed a thumb to Tony's face, he knew it would come away with what he could only describe were the tears that fell over this cheeks.

Great, now he was crying.

Tony tugged Peter back into a hug, taking in Peter's sigh as a sign of contentment, and pressed a slight kiss onto his hair. "Just let me have this one, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay," Peter said quietly, his arms coming up to wrap around Tony's back once again. "It's your birthday though, you should be happy."

"Trust me, kiddo, I _am _happy." Tony smiled softly. "If I wasn't, you would not be getting away with decorating the lab in such bright colors. No matter how much I think of you as my kid."

His smile widened when he feels Peter's grin against his shoulder. It was wondrous to feel such pride in the simple act of making his kid smile. Peter pulled away from the hug and ran to grab his present and his backpack.

"Here's my present to you, Mr. Stark." Peter looked down as he shuffled awkwardly. "I really hope you like it."

Peter turned to walk toward the door of the lab when Tony stopped him. "Peter, do you have to leave?"

Peter looked at him with a soft expression on his face. His eyes still radiated with joy and innocent wonder, but his smile was bittersweet. They both knew they didn't want to leave the moment, but Tony could see the determination in Peter's eyes and he knew he couldn't stop it.

"Yeah, I do," Peter said, "but you have so many people waiting for you. I'll just catch up later. How does an impromptu birthday lab session sound?"

Tony grinned through the tears he held back. "Sounds like a perfect day, kid."

Peter returned the grin toothily and turned to leave once again, but stopped.

"Oh, and another thing." Peter trails off.

"Thank you for everything, Dad."

Tony's heart skips a beat at the term, and the tears he had tried to hold at bay flowed down his face in big, wet tracks. Before he knew it, Peter was gone.

"Anything for you, kid."

_I'm sorry, Da—_

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Not all nights were calm for Tony, but this one could be rated as one of them. He wakes up to the soft rays of the fading moonlight shining into the room in the lake-house. Pepper is asleep beside him, curled towards the warmth of his body with an arm loosely laying over his midsection. An affectionate smile bloomed on his face as he took in the fiery orange notes of her hair as it lays fanned over her pillow.

He sat up carefully, making sure to lift Pepper's arm without jostling her out of sleep, and got out of bed. Quietly, his feet took him to the room he had put together for Harley, but his eyes were glued onto the next room over.

The room he had built just for Peter.

After taking a deep breath, he walked past the room and to Morgan's, ignoring the pain that burned his lungs when he remembered the child he'd lost.

Morgan was already awake in the crib by the time he'd walked into her room. She had grabbed onto her tiny toes and began to swing side-to-side when she'd seen him lean over her crib, blabbing incoherently at him.

"Dada!" Morgan yells, her hands letting go of her toes to reach for him.

Tony smiles at his daughter and lifts her into a safe hold, then walks to the armchair he'd had installed. He cradles her gently in his arms and is awed by the innocence and the amount of love and joy he feels towards her. His Morgoona.

And as he looked into her eyes, he finally realized why losing Peter hurts so much. This feeling of overwhelming love, Tony's responsibility to take care of him, the worries and the almost panic-attacks he'd had to experience every time Peter went out in his Spiderman suit.

Tony smiled sadly. Peter really was his kid.

Morgan laid a hand on Tony's cheek, slapping at it softly until his focus was solely on her. Tony knew Peter and Harley would be the greatest big brothers to Morgan, and he would do whatever he could to be able to see it happen.

"Alright, little miss," Tony said, "how would you like to hear a few embarrassing stories about your big brother Peter? There was this one time..."


End file.
